TOP TEN REASONS I'M NOT THANKFUL

Hello all of you Turkeys. It's that time of year...where we wind down the greed factor... and try to be good so that we can exude peace on earth... good will towards mankind.

What once was being touted by Ben Frankline...as our national bird...instead of the American Eagle...has now been reduced to being baked, deep-fried, made into hash, cold sandwiched, plucked, Butterballed, divided into white meat, dark meat, legs, wings...and gibblitzied. All of this is done in the name of giving of thanks.

This year I am going anti-thanks. I refuse to take ONE day out of the year and pretend that I am THANKFUL. So here are the TOP TEN REASONS...I'M NOT THANKFUL.

#10 I was scarred as a youth...when Grandmother Bowles...snuck in oysters in her dressing and did not tell me. There is nothing worse than having a big bite of oyster dressing...and you can't swallow for fear of throwing up.

#9 Who wants to get together with relatives that you can't stand throughout the year...and wonder when Aunt Bonnie is going to say something about Cousin Emmett that will mark the beginning of the end of the thankful occasion.

#8 Why do we have to ask God to bless our food...when what we are really saying is..."God...please bless our GLUTTONY as we cram every food known to mankind through our pie holes...and ask for forgiveness as we beg for Alka-Seltzer

#7 Why do I need to thank God for anything...as long as I have my retirement...401K...health and life insurance...Roth IRA...and numerous credit cards maxed out. Why do I need to thank the Master...when I worship the true Master...Aaaaahhhh Yes Master..MASTERCARD.

#6 Two Words... (1) Tofu (2) Turkey

# 5 I know that the Bible says in I Thessalonians 5:18, "in EVERY THING gives thanks...for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." But surely He does not mean having to endure the stuff that I have to endure. Thanks...but no thanks.

#4 After 55 years of this old world...If I live to be 110 years old I am currently middle aged. In the words of Peggy Lee...Is that all there is? Bring out the booze.

#3 Why should I be thankful...when the local oldies radio station.. changed format to adding in songs of the 70's and 80's. If I wanted to listen to the station that bought them out and made them move to another frequency...than I would listen to that station. If they thought that I would not stop listening...then they don't know JACK.

NOTE: For those not in this area...JACK is the name of the station and you don't know JACK is there promo.

#2 Thanks alot God for creating gravity...every part of my body is sagging...So what if gravity keeps everything from flying off into space... If I can't look good...what's the use of being anchored to this terrestrial ball...the 3rd Rock from the Sun...the old Ball of Confusion?

#1 And the number one reason why I'm not thankful....

IT'S ALL ABOUT ME BABY...IT'S ALL ABOUT ME.
Now...let me take my tongue firmly out of my cheek...and let you know...that I AM THANKFUL...in everything in my life. I am thankful that in 1970 I became a new creation in Christ...I am thankful that the old things passed away...and the new things came. I am thankful that the Lord brought Brenda Williams into my life...and was bold enough in her faith to witness to me...and share Christ with me...and then had the Biblical Knowledge to lead me through the Roman's Road to Salvation. I am so thankful the Phillip Stephen Boyd came into our lives. He is a joy to us for the past 17 years. I thank you that my son is a strong, hunk of a young man...who still has a tender side...where he will hug and kiss on his Mom...and will do the same with his dear old Dad. I am thankful that ever since Brenda and I tied the knot in 1972 at 6:30 P.M. at Bellwood Baptist church...that God has met our needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
I am thankful that after 55 years of being on this old spinning ball...called Planet Earth...that I am able to get out on a dojo floor...and I am still alive and kickin'. Maybe I'm not kicking to the head...but if a wee old leprechan attacks me...I believe I can reach his head.

I am curious...WHAT ARE YOU THANKFUL FOR....how about responding back...and letting old Rod know...why it is not ALL ABOUT YOU.

Love and Deep Fried Turkey Kisses
Rod "Someone Alert The Fire Station" Boyd