39 And Counting

Greetings O Ye Love Birds...

July 14th...will be our 39th wedding anniversary. We got married in 1972...but we met in 1968...in a garage on Nancy Avenue in Murfreesboro Tennessee...during a Sunday afternoon band practice of The Blind Distortion. Of course it was love at first sight...on my part....but it didn't take to long to "woo her with my charms." (Earnest T. Bass)

NOTE: The first picture is one of our first dates (the first was after a homecoming bonfire...and then we went to eat at Sir Pizza...where we ordered a large half hamburger...half mushroom pizza...and ate a total of two slices).

In honor of the re-release of MOO GOT MAIL ( a collection of Ruminator Ramblings)...here is a reprint of the August 16th 2003 Ruminator Rambling called THE ART OF MARRIAGE.


THE ART OF MARRIAGE

Hello fellow Ruminators...chewers of the cud... the bovinian meditators of the Word. July 14th, 1972. This is a date on the time-space continuum that drastically changed my life. This was my last day of being a single young man...my wedding day. Brenda Sue Williams...was the lucky girl who was about to become married to her hunny bunny...her sugar booger...dare I say...her stud muffin.

We met in 1968 in a garage on a Sunday afternoon. I remember it as if it was yesterday. I was in a rockin' little band called THE BLIND DISTORTION. I looked every inch the rock n' roller...NOT!!! It was 131 pounds soaking wet...while everyone else had their hair combed down in the finest summer of love fashion...I still had my hair greased back like an Elvis Presley wannabe...I wore a pair of thick, black glasses (I looked like a bad impression of Buddy Holly)...and my clothes came from Pigg and Parsons (the clothing shop of the frat boys at that time). The guys in the band were trying to do a major make over in my life...so they let me play in their band and gave me tips on how to change my image.

Brenda (or as I like to refer to her as "the goddess"...was best friends of the lead singer's girlfriend. They dropped in to check out our practice session. Of course...she did not gravitate to me...but more to the lead guitar player (ain't that how it always is).

Let me compress the years: (1) Courtship (2) Talking about marriage (3) She tells me that I will be going to hell (as I was about to take a bite into a Shoney's Onion Ring) (4) She leads me to the Lord in her driveway at 426 4th Avenue (5) Long distant courtship as I went to Tennessee Temple Bible School in Chattanooga (6) July 14, 1972 at 6:30 P.M (7) Started out life as husband and wife (8) 39 years later to now in 2011. NOTE: If you get married at 6:00...you are on the DOWNSWING...at 6:30 you are on the UPSWING. Don't ask me...I Just showed up when I was told.

The question is..."How did we survive 39 years? Obviously she did not marry a perfect man (I know it's hard to believe...but it's true)...and although she is known as "the goddess"...she does have a few minor flaws (BUT even her flaws border on perfection). Here are a few (just a few) of the things that we have done to survive being married.

DISCLAIMER: We don't claim perfection. We have had our share of ups and downs...arguments...times of frustrations...stubborn stand offs...etc. Just because we are Christians, DOES NOT MEAN...that hard times, temptations, frustrations, inconsistencies, don't hit us in the face like anybody else. Christians have marital difficulties like anyone else...it rains on the just and the unjust. We don't always do these things right...but when we get off track...and it gets unbearable...we always return to these things/principles.

1. FOUNDATION: Our foundation is solid. Matthew 7:24-27. We made the decision...the choice to have our foundation solid on the rock. We knew the storms would come and we did not want a house/home built on sand.

2. THE BUILDER: We contracted an expert to build our house. Psalm 127:1 "Unless the Lord builds the house... they labor in vain who build it; unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman keeps awake in vain." We could throw up a physical building, but it would not last. Lord Help us build our house/home. By the way...He also is great with remodeling.

3. THE DECISION OF SERVICE: Bod Dylan had a great son on his album Slow Train Coming.. and it rang true with us..."You Got To Serve Somebody..it may be the devil...it may be the Lord...but ya got to serve somebody." Joshua 24:15..."but as for me and my house...we will serve the Lord."

4. MORNING COFFEE: Men...pay attention. Every morning (except for a few exceptions)...I get up, make the coffee, let Brenda sleep, and then bring her a cup of coffee (maybe with something sweet to eat) and I gently shake her and say..."It's time to get up." The only coffee connection that I could find in the Bible was from Jill Coble...proof that man is suppose to be the one who has coffee duties is found in the book of HEbrews (sorry).

5. THE SHE'S NOT MY SUBMISSIVE SERVANT PRINCIPLE: Benny Sumrall taught me this principle years ago...I had to not only look at Brenda as my wife...mother of our child...but as a Covenant Woman...a daughter of God...a handmaid of the Lord...a sister in Jesus. A fellow-heir of the grace of life. This principle is found in (I Peter 3:7). In Acts chapter 2, where the Holy Spirit fell on people...some of these people were women. God can speak to Brenda (and does) just as well as he speaks to me (maybe even better)...which leads me to the next principle.

NOTE: Men...if you do not get this principle down...your prayers WILL BE HINDERED.

6. THE HELPER CONNECTION: Adam was a lump of mud with the breath of God blown into him. He was alone. God saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone...so He took a rib...formed a woman to be his help meet/helpmate/helper. In the Bible the Holy Spirit is called The Helper. I don't think that it is too far of a stretch to equate my wife...with the Holy Spirit. She is a comfort, speaks wisdom into me, if I listen to her guidance I avoid all kinds of trouble. Check out Genesis 1-3 and John 14-16.

7. THE SUNDOWN SYNDROME: Ephesians 4:26 "Be angry and yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger...and do not give the devil an opportunity." Resolve the anger issues as soon as possible and don't let it fester overnight like an infected wound or ingrown hair." Deal with it.

8. LOVE STORY (The Sorry Excuse): When we were dating (I was in Bible School) and Brenda was back home in Murfreesboro, on of the movies out was LOVE STORY. There was a line in that movie that was the catch phrase of the day. It was..."Love, means NEVER having to say YOU'RE SORRY." That sounded so good...so in one of y love letters to Brenda...i wrote it at the end of the letter. Oooooh Well! That was the wrong thing to write. In Hollywood that may be OK...but in real life...learning how to say your sorry and meant it...can end a lot of tension.

9. STICKS AND STONES AND WORDS: Sticks and stones CAN break my bones...but words can never hurt me. Bull...oney!!! Words CAN hurt...words can goo deep...words are weapons. We have to be careful what we say in the heat of an argument. The words that we say to one another in private and the words that we say to one another in public...and the words that we say to someone else about each other...can have an effect physically, emotionally, spiritually. Oral Roberts wife Evelyn states that in all their years of marriage...he has never said a negative word about her in public. I know men and women who constantly talked about their wives/husbands to others. There appears to be no privacy about anything and they degrade them publicly aka NO RESPECT. Ephesians 4:29 states..."Let/allow no unwholesome word proceed form your mouth, but only such a word that is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear [especially your wives...my words].

10. MURDER: We heard Billy Graham's wife make a statement and we decided that would be good rule to follow. She said, "In all our years of marriage the word divorce has never come up...murder has...but never divorce." We PURPOSED to one another not to divorce...and by the grace of God...so far, so good.

NOTE: We know people...have relatives...have friends ...have brothers and sisters in the Lord who have been divorced...and they are no less Christians than we are. Things happen that get out of control...but God can take anything and redeem it.

11. THE PLAN (Ephesians 5:15-33): We try to stick as close to God's plan as possible. Many people stumble over this, especially in this world of independence and being your own man and being a man of the world...and the proliferation of media that constantly bombard us with the exact opposite of what God wants...however...we have found that this works. it is not a matter of a second class woman submitting to a first class man. It is (speaking from a man's point of view)...the man loving the woman like Christ loved the church. That means that if I a really going to love Brenda...so that she will have someone that she is willing to submit to...then I am going to have to stretch out my arms...and be willing to die (to my own will and self)...and live to serve my wife."

NOTE: I don't have this perfected yet...but continue to work on it.

Well...there ya go boys and girls. These are just a FEW of the principles that we have distilled down to what works for us as we walk out this thing called THE ART OF MARRIAGE.

Love and Kisses (holy ones that is)
Rodney