39 And Counting

Greetings O Ye Love Birds...

July 14th...will be our 39th wedding anniversary. We got married in 1972...but we met in 1968...in a garage on Nancy Avenue in Murfreesboro Tennessee...during a Sunday afternoon band practice of The Blind Distortion. Of course it was love at first sight...on my part....but it didn't take to long to "woo her with my charms." (Earnest T. Bass)

NOTE: The first picture is one of our first dates (the first was after a homecoming bonfire...and then we went to eat at Sir Pizza...where we ordered a large half hamburger...half mushroom pizza...and ate a total of two slices).

In honor of the re-release of MOO GOT MAIL ( a collection of Ruminator Ramblings)...here is a reprint of the August 16th 2003 Ruminator Rambling called THE ART OF MARRIAGE.


THE ART OF MARRIAGE

Hello fellow Ruminators...chewers of the cud... the bovinian meditators of the Word. July 14th, 1972. This is a date on the time-space continuum that drastically changed my life. This was my last day of being a single young man...my wedding day. Brenda Sue Williams...was the lucky girl who was about to become married to her hunny bunny...her sugar booger...dare I say...her stud muffin.

We met in 1968 in a garage on a Sunday afternoon. I remember it as if it was yesterday. I was in a rockin' little band called THE BLIND DISTORTION. I looked every inch the rock n' roller...NOT!!! It was 131 pounds soaking wet...while everyone else had their hair combed down in the finest summer of love fashion...I still had my hair greased back like an Elvis Presley wannabe...I wore a pair of thick, black glasses (I looked like a bad impression of Buddy Holly)...and my clothes came from Pigg and Parsons (the clothing shop of the frat boys at that time). The guys in the band were trying to do a major make over in my life...so they let me play in their band and gave me tips on how to change my image.

Brenda (or as I like to refer to her as "the goddess"...was best friends of the lead singer's girlfriend. They dropped in to check out our practice session. Of course...she did not gravitate to me...but more to the lead guitar player (ain't that how it always is).

Let me compress the years: (1) Courtship (2) Talking about marriage (3) She tells me that I will be going to hell (as I was about to take a bite into a Shoney's Onion Ring) (4) She leads me to the Lord in her driveway at 426 4th Avenue (5) Long distant courtship as I went to Tennessee Temple Bible School in Chattanooga (6) July 14, 1972 at 6:30 P.M (7) Started out life as husband and wife (8) 39 years later to now in 2011. NOTE: If you get married at 6:00...you are on the DOWNSWING...at 6:30 you are on the UPSWING. Don't ask me...I Just showed up when I was told.

The question is..."How did we survive 39 years? Obviously she did not marry a perfect man (I know it's hard to believe...but it's true)...and although she is known as "the goddess"...she does have a few minor flaws (BUT even her flaws border on perfection). Here are a few (just a few) of the things that we have done to survive being married.

DISCLAIMER: We don't claim perfection. We have had our share of ups and downs...arguments...times of frustrations...stubborn stand offs...etc. Just because we are Christians, DOES NOT MEAN...that hard times, temptations, frustrations, inconsistencies, don't hit us in the face like anybody else. Christians have marital difficulties like anyone else...it rains on the just and the unjust. We don't always do these things right...but when we get off track...and it gets unbearable...we always return to these things/principles.

1. FOUNDATION: Our foundation is solid. Matthew 7:24-27. We made the decision...the choice to have our foundation solid on the rock. We knew the storms would come and we did not want a house/home built on sand.

2. THE BUILDER: We contracted an expert to build our house. Psalm 127:1 "Unless the Lord builds the house... they labor in vain who build it; unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman keeps awake in vain." We could throw up a physical building, but it would not last. Lord Help us build our house/home. By the way...He also is great with remodeling.

3. THE DECISION OF SERVICE: Bod Dylan had a great son on his album Slow Train Coming.. and it rang true with us..."You Got To Serve Somebody..it may be the devil...it may be the Lord...but ya got to serve somebody." Joshua 24:15..."but as for me and my house...we will serve the Lord."

4. MORNING COFFEE: Men...pay attention. Every morning (except for a few exceptions)...I get up, make the coffee, let Brenda sleep, and then bring her a cup of coffee (maybe with something sweet to eat) and I gently shake her and say..."It's time to get up." The only coffee connection that I could find in the Bible was from Jill Coble...proof that man is suppose to be the one who has coffee duties is found in the book of HEbrews (sorry).

5. THE SHE'S NOT MY SUBMISSIVE SERVANT PRINCIPLE: Benny Sumrall taught me this principle years ago...I had to not only look at Brenda as my wife...mother of our child...but as a Covenant Woman...a daughter of God...a handmaid of the Lord...a sister in Jesus. A fellow-heir of the grace of life. This principle is found in (I Peter 3:7). In Acts chapter 2, where the Holy Spirit fell on people...some of these people were women. God can speak to Brenda (and does) just as well as he speaks to me (maybe even better)...which leads me to the next principle.

NOTE: Men...if you do not get this principle down...your prayers WILL BE HINDERED.

6. THE HELPER CONNECTION: Adam was a lump of mud with the breath of God blown into him. He was alone. God saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone...so He took a rib...formed a woman to be his help meet/helpmate/helper. In the Bible the Holy Spirit is called The Helper. I don't think that it is too far of a stretch to equate my wife...with the Holy Spirit. She is a comfort, speaks wisdom into me, if I listen to her guidance I avoid all kinds of trouble. Check out Genesis 1-3 and John 14-16.

7. THE SUNDOWN SYNDROME: Ephesians 4:26 "Be angry and yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger...and do not give the devil an opportunity." Resolve the anger issues as soon as possible and don't let it fester overnight like an infected wound or ingrown hair." Deal with it.

8. LOVE STORY (The Sorry Excuse): When we were dating (I was in Bible School) and Brenda was back home in Murfreesboro, on of the movies out was LOVE STORY. There was a line in that movie that was the catch phrase of the day. It was..."Love, means NEVER having to say YOU'RE SORRY." That sounded so good...so in one of y love letters to Brenda...i wrote it at the end of the letter. Oooooh Well! That was the wrong thing to write. In Hollywood that may be OK...but in real life...learning how to say your sorry and meant it...can end a lot of tension.

9. STICKS AND STONES AND WORDS: Sticks and stones CAN break my bones...but words can never hurt me. Bull...oney!!! Words CAN hurt...words can goo deep...words are weapons. We have to be careful what we say in the heat of an argument. The words that we say to one another in private and the words that we say to one another in public...and the words that we say to someone else about each other...can have an effect physically, emotionally, spiritually. Oral Roberts wife Evelyn states that in all their years of marriage...he has never said a negative word about her in public. I know men and women who constantly talked about their wives/husbands to others. There appears to be no privacy about anything and they degrade them publicly aka NO RESPECT. Ephesians 4:29 states..."Let/allow no unwholesome word proceed form your mouth, but only such a word that is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear [especially your wives...my words].

10. MURDER: We heard Billy Graham's wife make a statement and we decided that would be good rule to follow. She said, "In all our years of marriage the word divorce has never come up...murder has...but never divorce." We PURPOSED to one another not to divorce...and by the grace of God...so far, so good.

NOTE: We know people...have relatives...have friends ...have brothers and sisters in the Lord who have been divorced...and they are no less Christians than we are. Things happen that get out of control...but God can take anything and redeem it.

11. THE PLAN (Ephesians 5:15-33): We try to stick as close to God's plan as possible. Many people stumble over this, especially in this world of independence and being your own man and being a man of the world...and the proliferation of media that constantly bombard us with the exact opposite of what God wants...however...we have found that this works. it is not a matter of a second class woman submitting to a first class man. It is (speaking from a man's point of view)...the man loving the woman like Christ loved the church. That means that if I a really going to love Brenda...so that she will have someone that she is willing to submit to...then I am going to have to stretch out my arms...and be willing to die (to my own will and self)...and live to serve my wife."

NOTE: I don't have this perfected yet...but continue to work on it.

Well...there ya go boys and girls. These are just a FEW of the principles that we have distilled down to what works for us as we walk out this thing called THE ART OF MARRIAGE.

Love and Kisses (holy ones that is)
Rodney

CAPTAIN LOVE and the LOVE FACTOR

Greetings citizens...in a world filled with hate...now is the time...more than ever...that we need LOVE.

By day...I am a mild mannered Speech Pathologist...who humbly goes about in this world...getting people to talk... one word at a time...but when the call arises...Captain Love springs into action. Just like The Shadow...who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men...So the Captain knows...the need for love in an unloved world. The Beatles proclaimed...All you need is LOVE..and then they broke up (thanks to Larry Norman for this insight). As the 50's doo-wop song goes..."I wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder who...who wrote the book of LOVE?" Elvis wanted someone to love Him tender...other singers declared that the purpose of a woman was to LOVE a man...and the purpose of a man was to LOVE a woman and stated that this was known as THE GAME OF LOVE.
The second picture is that of my Mom and Dad...in the early days. The look on my Dad's face says it all..."How did I get so lucky?" Well...thank God that he did...because without this "look of love"...I would never have been born...and if I had never been born...then you would not have the opportunity to see me dressed up in a Superhero costume as CAPTAIN LOVE. Mom and Dad were married for a few years before I came on the scene...and once they reached perfection...reasoned that why have more children when they have got the best. Well...at least that's what my Mom told me...and I tend to agree with her.

I Rodney Lewis Boyd...aka Captain Love...was practicing in a garage off of Jones Boulevard in Murfreesboro...one Sunday afternoon... when a vision of loveliness came into the garage. Brenda Sue Williams was standing there in the door way...with the sunshine outline her... making her look like a Greek goddess...and I immediately fell in LOVE. There was one little problem. I played rhythm guitar...and she liked (not loved) the lead guitar player. Sure...I looked like a 131 pound drowned rat with my hair greased back like Buddy Holly... but...that's beside the point. The bottom line is...Captain Love has been married to Brenda Sue for the past 37 years.

NOTE: Brenda is the one who made my CAPTAIN LOVE costume... which I wore to a Valentine's Banquet at Smyrna Assembly. Captain Love and his lovely sidekick were crowned King and Queen of the banquet.

NOTE: As you look at the third picture...it goes goes to prove... that BEHIND every good woman...is a man.

The third component to my love...is our son Phillip Stephen Boyd. He is now 20 years old...and still brings a smile to my lips...even as he spreads his wings of independence. I like that song by The Lost Dogs off of their Mutt CD...called I'm Setting You Free...but I'm Not Letting You Go. I've wrote about this before...but it is an ongoing process... as Brenda and I...have instilled over the years...love...but we continue to tether Phillip with our prayers.

All of these aspects of LOVE would be meaningless...unless it was for the LOVE that God showed when He sent His only begotten Son. (John 3:16) We have all stepped into the stream of eternal life...during our journey...and that affects our NOW. This LOVE affects the effect of our nitty gritty lives... as His perfect LOVE casts out fear. (I John 4:18)

In the Greek language...there are many words for love...where in English we are limited to one word. For example..."I love Brenda...I love my dog Sweetie...I love hot dogs." These Greek words like phileo (brotherly love), storge' (familial love) and eros (sensual love...not necessarily sexual)...are all good loves. But all of these love if not ruled by AGAPE'...the God love...can take a turn for the worst.

For example...I mentioned that I "fell in love" with Brenda. The problem is...if agape' does not under gird falling IN love...I can "fall OUT" of love. It's like...if someone can talk me INTO Christianity...someone can talk me OUT of Christianity. I can have phileo...brotherly love...until my brother does something that ticks me off...or offends me. Eros...that sensual love...can be a wonderful thing that keeps things exciting in a relationship...but once eros becomes defiled...when eros becomes focused on me...then...my senses rule versus true love. Even within the church...we say "I love you brother...sister...BUT...no where in the Bible does Jesus ever utter these words. I can't see anywhere where Jesus says...I LOVE YOU...but...I sure can see where he walked out that LOVE...no matter what the circumstance...or the return of that love. I find myself at times doing what I call...SLOPPY AGAPE'.

Check out I Corinthians 13 (aka...The Luuuuuuuuve Chapter... for the hallmark of true AGAPE' LOVE.

FINAL THOUGHTS...FINALLY...NO...REALLY...FINALLY

"He who has My commandments and keeps them...he it is who loves Me...and I will love him and my Father will love him...and will manifest/reveal/disclose Myself to Him." (John 14:21)

"For God so loved the world (man, wo-man, hu-mans) that He gave (love is giving not taking) His only begotten Son (that would be Jesus)...that whosoever (that would be man, wo-man, hu-mans...not limited) believes in Him (Jesus) should not persish...but have everlasting/eternal life." (John 3:16 Ruminator Style)

Non-Sloppy Agape'
Rodney "Captain Love" Boyd

MEMOIR OF A LOVE STORY

Hello Love Birds...and you know who you are. This MEMOIR is not restricted to me...but is being told over and over again...with lovers throughout the ages. It just so happens...that this is our story...Brenda Sue Williams and Rodney Lewis Boyd. It is a story of how two lives intersect...and their lives are changed as the course of events becomes the catalyst for destiny. This is a snippet of our story.

A MEMOIR is defined as a record of events written by a person with intimate knowledge of them based on personal observation. In other words...I have lived it up close and personal. Adam KNEW Eve...in an up close, personal and intimate way...physically, emotionally, and spiritually...and we are called to know our husbands and wives that way...and we are called to KNOW GOD close up and personal...so we can BE A WITNESS...have a personal observation of WHO and WHAT we believe. Here is our MEMOIR.

I can remember the first time I laid my bespectacled eyes on Brenda...as she walked into a garage on Nancy Avenue...on a Sunday afternoon...where that hot and rocking band THE BLIND DISTORTION (aka The Black Room)...were practicing. Dan Bogle (lead guitar), Bruce Fortner (lead singer), Jimmy Barrett (drummer...it was his garage) and James Satterwhite (bass) and last but not least Rockin' Rod (rhythm guitar).

I was rather reclusive until Dan Bogle and Bruce Fortner got me out of my room...and in the band...and into life. Bruce was dating Debbie Pearson...Brenda's best friend. For me...it was love at first sight...not for Brenda. She liked the lead guitar guy...nobody likes the rhythm guitar player. Anyway...the forces of friends began to try to set us up. Homecoming at Central High School was fast approaching...and Brenda needed a date...an apparently everyone else thought that I needed a date also.

I attempted to make contact with Brenda...by calling her multiple times...but every time I called her...she was at church (she was a good little Independent Baptist girl). I remember standing at a pay phone and getting the news that she was at church...AGAIN...and telling Dan...and his response...d--n Boyd...what are you trying to do...date a missionary?" Well...I persevered...and we had our first get together at the bonfire for the homecoming...and then a second date at SIR PIZZA...where I was introduced to mushrooms (not the psychedelic kind). Then it was time to go to the homecoming dance.

I was...and still am shy...especially in new situations...so the challenge was to get me to talk. We were going to double date with Bruce and Debbie...and Bruce contrived some openings for me to be part of the conversation. He told me to just talk about what I liked and knew about. Well...at that time it was when Paul McCartney was supposedly dead and there were multiple clues found on the Beatles albums. I knew about all of the clues...SO...we stashed some albums in the back seat...and Bruce said..."Rodney...why don't you tell us about Paul McCartney being dead." I reached around behind us...and got all of the albums and began to expound on all of the clues. YIKES...poor Brenda Sue...trapped in the backseat with a nerd. Well....one thing led to another...and Brenda saw beyond my nerdiness....and we became a couple.

We continued to date...going to dances...many concerts (Tom Jones, Gladys Knight and the Pips, Count Basie (all in the round at one show)...Three Dog Night, The Allman Brothers (with Barry Oakley and not Dwayne) and a bunch of others. The Barn Theater...with my mega-zit showing etc.

I made a tactical error...when I started going to church with Brenda. My thought was...that although I was a heathen...and my heathen powers were stronger than spiritual forces...that I could endure anything...as long as I could have a little more time with Brenda. As Huey Lewis and the News sings..."THAT'S THE POWER OF LOVE." The problem was that I miscalculated the POWER OF THE GOSPEL...D.B.R...nothing more...nothing less. I did not take into account that as I sat there in the service...no matter how I tried to put on the tough rock and roll persona...that I was hearing THE WORD OF GOD...and that FAITH WAS COMING.

One eventful day...Brenda and I were sitting at Shoney's in Murfreesboro (in the day when they had curb side service where you could stay in your car, listen to music, talk and watch cars circling Shoneys)...and we were talking about getting married. I had made the statement to Brenda that when...not if...but when we get married, we can raise the children in any religion that she wanted...because I was a heathen and I could adjust to any religion. WOW...I really was open minded....BUT the Baptist rose up in Brenda...and she said..."well.. that's fine...but when me and the children die...we will go to heaven...and you will go to hell and we will be separated." She dropped this GOSPEL BOMB on me in the middle of me taking a bite of those famous Shoney's Onion Rings. It hit me...that she was right. My life was a mess...I needed a Saviour...and that Saviour was not my music, drugs, paint thinners (that I was addicted to)...or anything else here on earth. I needed some H.H. (Heaven Help). I took her home...to 426 4th Avenue...and turned to her and asked here..."What do I have to do to be saved?" Being the good little Baptist girl that she was....she led me down the Romans Road to Salvation. She told me that:

a. There is none righteous no not one (Romans 3:10)
b. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 6:23)
c. Death via sin was passed to all men because of what Adam did (Romans 5:12)
d. The wages (what I earn) of sin is death BUT...the free gift of God is eternal life (Romans 6:23)
e. God demonstrated His Love for me in that while I was YET a sinner...Christ died for me (Romans 5:8)
f. I had to confess (say the same thing God says) with my mouth JESUS AS LORD...AND believe IN MY HEART ....that God HAS
RAISED JESUS FROM THE DEAD. The cause and effect of me doing that...RODNEY BOYD SHALL BE SAVED (Romans 10:9)
g. When I believe with my heart it results in righteousness...and when I confess with my mouth it results in salvation (Romans 10:10)
h. I would not be disappointed if I did this (Romans10:11)
i. If I CALLED UPON THE NAME OF THE LORD...I WILL BE SAVED (Romans 10:13)
j. FAITH CAME BY HEARING THE WORD OF GOD (Romans 10:17)


This was the defining moment of our relationship. It changed the course of our history together. We met in 1969...got married in 1972 (6:30 P.M. on the upswing of the clock)...and 37 years have passed. A lot of STUFF (some good, some bad, some ugly) have transpired.. BUT God has used it all...and it all has worked for good for us because we love the Lord and we have been called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:2)

Over the next few years...there have been many touchstones...Ebenezers...where God has moved in our lives....and we can look back with confidence that IF God moved in our lives...at those places...He will move again.

Looking back...in retrospective...there are many things that kept us together.

1. I'm a stud muffin (just kidding about that). I am more of a chunk than a hunk.
2. I make her laugh and she makes me laugh.
3. Brenda practices the Ruth Graham principle of marriage...in all of our years we have never
thought about divorce. We have thought about MURDER a few times...but not divorce.
4. The Baptism in the Holy Spirit. We both experienced a new dimension of moving in the
Spirit...and the Spirit moving through us.
5. JESUS CHRIST IS OUR LORD. We stay routed and grounded in the Cross of Jesus... the
blood of Jesus...the D.B.R. of Jesus.
6. Forgiveness. Ya gotta learn to forgive
7. The Word of God. We keep renewing our minds to the washing of the water of the Word.
8. Perseverance.

Well...that is just a little snapshot of how God took a boy and a girl...who grew up in the same town...put them together...and kept them together.

LOVE MAKES A DIFFERENCE

Many relationships are based on either...LUST (a selfish taking for themselves)...or based on LOVE. There are multiple words for this thing called LOVE in the Greek language. They are ALL GOOD. (1) phileo=a brotherly love....for one another...mankind (ie the city of Phileo Love Philadelphia) (2) Storge'=a familial love...a motherly love...a strong love
(3) eros=a sensual...not necessarily sexual love. I believe this can range from I love hot dogs to I love wife (physically and emotionally).

All of these loves are good, wonderful, needed...BUT...if these loves are not under girded and ruled by AGAPE' LOVE...once the feeling and emotion is gone out of these other loves...what was considered to be love CRUMBLES.

Read I Corinthians 13 for the characteristics of AGAPE LOVE...for God so AGAPED...that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever should believe in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

After 37 years...the various loves are still intact...because the agape' that we have for the Lord...is the Cornerstone for our love for one another.

FINAL THOUGHTS...FINALLY!

Baby...God ain't through with us yet.

Love and Anniversary Kisses
Rodney "I Am A Blessed Man" Boyd