RESOLUTIONS...I DON'T NEED NO STINKING RESOLUTIONS

Hello fellow New Years Eve adventurers. Here we stand...ready to leap away from 2009...into the Great Adventure of 2010. As we prepare for this New Year...I want to ask you a question.

Out of the past 100 years of movies...what is one of the most quoted...misquotes? Well...there are many...but as a clue...take a look at the lovely picture over to the left. Immediately many are saying in their best Mexican impersonation..."Badges?...We don't need no...stinkin' badges!" Many recognize this from the Humphrey Bogart classic...The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. The quote is lifted from the scene between Fred C. Dobbs (Humphrey Bogart) and Gold Hat (Alfonso Bedoya)...as Gold Hat tries to convince Dobbs and his compadres that they are Federales. Here is how it really went down.

DOBBS: If you're the police, where are your badges.
GOLD HAT: Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges.

Well...according to Barney Fife...and Sgt. Joe Friday...badges are a must. They feel that you do need "stinkin' badges." You may be askin' yourself...self...what's up with the talk about stinkin' badges? Well...self...I'm so glad that you are ruminating on the question. Substitute the word for BADGES...for the word RESOLUTION...and we come to the reason for this Rambling at this time of year.

EVERY PERSON AT NEW YEARS: If you're starting a New Year...what's your resolution?

RODNEY BOYD: Resolutions? I ain't got no resolutions. I don't need no resolutions! I don't have to tell you any stinkin' resolutions!

Of course the misquote will be...Resolutions? I don't need to tell you any...stinkin' resolutions.

Either way...here are the TOP TEN REASONS I DON'T HAVE TO RESOLVE ANY STINKIN' RESOLUTIONS...aka...THE RESOLUTION REVOLUTION. Before I forget it...the othe two pictures are of The Shadow..."The weed of crime bears bitter fruit...who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of man...The Shadow knows." Also Mr. Simon Templar aka The Saint. Both of these guys fought the bad guys...but did not use any STICKIN' BADGES. Here are the Top Ten Reasons/Excuses...That I Don't Need No Stinkin' Resolutions!!!


#10 I I resolve to be resolute...that would indicate that I have "issues" that I need to deal with...and I don't have any issues. Who told you I have issues...did you notice that I have issues...who else has noticed I have issues.

# 9 Why resolve to lose weight. I'm just big boned. Why should I base my weight on outdated government weight charts. I'm like the Brontosaurus said to the T-Rex...I'm just big boned.

# 8 Why would I need to exercise more this year. The Bible says..."bodily exercise/discipline is ONLY OF A LITTLE PROFIT..." (I Timothy 4:8). Sure...that's out of context...but that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

# 7 Why do I need to resolve to read through the Bible in 2010. I read it through a few years ago...and I'm pretty sure they did not add anything new in it.

# 6 I resolve NOT to get on Facebook in 2010. Right!!!!! What would the populace do not knowing what I am doing minute by minute.

#5 I resolve NOT to Twitter in 2010. Actually...this is a REAL resolution...I hate Twitter. Twitter? I don't have to let you know on Twitter what I am thinking at the moment.! I don't need no stinkin' Twitter.


COMMERCIAL BREAK: Are ya havin' a tough time believing all of that Jesus stuff? Have agnostics and atheist been giving you a hard time about believing a myth? Do the politically correct crowd want to make your Saviour...someone on the same level as Gandhi? Well...come to THE RUMINATOR SUNDAY SCHOOL CLASS...as we begin our study on THE GOSPEL OF JOHN...RUMINATOR STYLE. "...but these have been written so that you may BELIEVE that Jesus is the Christ...the Son of God; and that believing you may have life in His name." (John 20:31) Class will be held at Smyrna Assembly 9:00 A.M. Central Standard Time in Smyrna Tennessee. For more information call Rodney Boyd at 415-7577 or write at ruminator12@comcast.net And now back to our Top Ten Reasons I Don't Need No Stinkin' Resolutions.

#4 I resolve not to mention Spam in 2010...Spam a delightful blend of spices and ham...and the official canned meat of Hawaii...and the official sponsor of The Ruminator Sunday School Class (well that last one is not true).

# 3 I resolve to change my guitar strings at least twice in 2010...or at least think about. If I think hard enough...maybe someone would get tired of hearing dead strings and change them for me.

# 2 I resolve to quit smokin', chewing/dipping tobacco, hangin' round loose women, cussin', and overeating. Well..one out of five ain't bad.
DISCLAIMER: The only one I do is overeat...so please don't write.

AND THE #1 REASON THAT I DON'T HAVE TO MAKE...OR TELL YOU ANY OF MY STINKIN' RESOLUTIONS....

#1 IT'S ALL ABOUT ME BABY...IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well...there ya have it. By the way...what's your resolution?

Love and Resolved Kisses
Rodney "Maybe I Do Need Some Stinkin' Resolutions" Boyd