TOP TEN REASONS ROD DOES NOT NEED GOD IN 2009

Greetings all ye who deem themselves to be self-sufficient. Here it is...2009... another year where we can survive on our own. No need for God...since we consider ourselves to be gods. We are the master of our fates...our destiny is in our hands...the world (the corporate and personal0 is just fine. With that in mind...here they are....THE TOP TEN REASONS....ROD...DOES NOT NEED GOD IN 2009.

DISCLAIMER: For those unaware....this is a tongue in cheek poke at those who think it is all about...them.

So.............with out further adue...let us proceed.

This was originally posted to my wall on FACEBOOK.



#10 I subscribe to the BOOT STRAP THEOLOGY...where I pull up MY OWN boot straps...so I don't owe nuttin' to nobody...including God. I am a self-made man.

#9 I am a follower of Frank Sinatra...so let's all turn to page 245 in our ME BOOKS...and sing all three verses of I DID IT MYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WAY.

#8 Jesus may be Lord, MASTER and Saviour...but I've got MASTERcard, Discover, and American Express to meet my needs according to the debt cycle of the world. I am my Lord/Boss/One in control... Master...and Saviour of myself.

#7 When you are as intellectual as I am...you don't need God. After all...I have come to the conclusion that THERE IS NO GOD...so I can't need help from what is not real. NOTE: Atheist...intellectuals...and agnostics..."spiritual" people may not believe in God...but God sure does believe in them...enough to allow His Son to die on a cross in their place.

#6 I don't really need God...because I've got all my ducks in a row with my 401K, stocks, investments, etc. After all...WALL STREET IS LORD...and as long as WALL STREET is stable...I don't need God.

#5 I will need God...when the world gets bad enough. So far...so good. NOTE: Sometimes you got to stink enough...where even you can't stand your funky smell.




NOTE: We are have way to the # 1 reason. Let's here a word from our sponsor...the RUMINATORS. If you are in the Smyrna and surrounding area...stop by on Wednesday nights...for a JOURNEY through the ONE YEAR BIBLE...RUMINATOR STYLE. Email me for more information. And now back to our exciting adventure of TOP TEN REASONS ROD DOES NOT NEED GOD IN 2009.

#4 Why do I need God...I've got a wife who tells me what to do. Instead of saying YES LORD...all I have to do is say YES DEAR.

# 3 God is for sinners...and I don't sin. My armpits don't stink either. I am a pristine individual...PRAISE ROD.

EMERGENCY SPIRITUAL BROADCASTING SYSTEM: Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.... this is a test...it is only a test...in the event of a real SPIRITUAL CRISIS...you would have been notified to fall on your knees and repent of your self-sufficiency.
#2 God is for losers...and I am a WINNER...or that's what all the positive thinker gurus tell me. All I have to do is awaken the giant within me...confess over and over that I am all I need...become a magnet for good things...do good works...and all of my needs will be met according to the riches in myself.


COMMERCIAL BREAK: Are you tired of being tempted...enticed to evil...pulled away from who you really are? Are you weary of trying to do the right thing... and still missing the mark. Are you fed up with walking in the flesh and experiencing the same old habits and being tied up and bound again, and again, and again? Is that what's troubling you Boopie? Well.........HAVE I GOT A CLASS FOR YOU. On Sunday mornings at Smyrna Assembly at 9:00 CST...you can join the rest of the HERD....for the new teaching series called HOW TO DEAL WITH TEMPTATION, SIN and the FLESH. If you can't make it...you can email Ramblin' Rod and request a copy of the workbook...that will be sent to you via email attachment...for the low, low price of FREE.

And now...we return for the conclusion of TOP TEN REASONS ROD DOES NOT NEED GOD IN 2009.

And the #1 reason...Rod does not need God in 2009.....

IT'S ALL ABOUT ME BABY...IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

See ya next time...for the TOP TEN REASONS.......

Love and RodMEy Kisses
Rodney "As The Deer Panteth For The Waters So My Soul Thirsts After Thee" Boyd