RESOLUTIONS...I DON'T NEED NO STINKING RESOLUTIONS

Hello fellow New Years Eve adventurers. Here we stand...ready to leap away from 2009...into the Great Adventure of 2010. As we prepare for this New Year...I want to ask you a question.

Out of the past 100 years of movies...what is one of the most quoted...misquotes? Well...there are many...but as a clue...take a look at the lovely picture over to the left. Immediately many are saying in their best Mexican impersonation..."Badges?...We don't need no...stinkin' badges!" Many recognize this from the Humphrey Bogart classic...The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. The quote is lifted from the scene between Fred C. Dobbs (Humphrey Bogart) and Gold Hat (Alfonso Bedoya)...as Gold Hat tries to convince Dobbs and his compadres that they are Federales. Here is how it really went down.

DOBBS: If you're the police, where are your badges.
GOLD HAT: Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges.

Well...according to Barney Fife...and Sgt. Joe Friday...badges are a must. They feel that you do need "stinkin' badges." You may be askin' yourself...self...what's up with the talk about stinkin' badges? Well...self...I'm so glad that you are ruminating on the question. Substitute the word for BADGES...for the word RESOLUTION...and we come to the reason for this Rambling at this time of year.

EVERY PERSON AT NEW YEARS: If you're starting a New Year...what's your resolution?

RODNEY BOYD: Resolutions? I ain't got no resolutions. I don't need no resolutions! I don't have to tell you any stinkin' resolutions!

Of course the misquote will be...Resolutions? I don't need to tell you any...stinkin' resolutions.

Either way...here are the TOP TEN REASONS I DON'T HAVE TO RESOLVE ANY STINKIN' RESOLUTIONS...aka...THE RESOLUTION REVOLUTION. Before I forget it...the othe two pictures are of The Shadow..."The weed of crime bears bitter fruit...who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of man...The Shadow knows." Also Mr. Simon Templar aka The Saint. Both of these guys fought the bad guys...but did not use any STICKIN' BADGES. Here are the Top Ten Reasons/Excuses...That I Don't Need No Stinkin' Resolutions!!!


#10 I I resolve to be resolute...that would indicate that I have "issues" that I need to deal with...and I don't have any issues. Who told you I have issues...did you notice that I have issues...who else has noticed I have issues.

# 9 Why resolve to lose weight. I'm just big boned. Why should I base my weight on outdated government weight charts. I'm like the Brontosaurus said to the T-Rex...I'm just big boned.

# 8 Why would I need to exercise more this year. The Bible says..."bodily exercise/discipline is ONLY OF A LITTLE PROFIT..." (I Timothy 4:8). Sure...that's out of context...but that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

# 7 Why do I need to resolve to read through the Bible in 2010. I read it through a few years ago...and I'm pretty sure they did not add anything new in it.

# 6 I resolve NOT to get on Facebook in 2010. Right!!!!! What would the populace do not knowing what I am doing minute by minute.

#5 I resolve NOT to Twitter in 2010. Actually...this is a REAL resolution...I hate Twitter. Twitter? I don't have to let you know on Twitter what I am thinking at the moment.! I don't need no stinkin' Twitter.


COMMERCIAL BREAK: Are ya havin' a tough time believing all of that Jesus stuff? Have agnostics and atheist been giving you a hard time about believing a myth? Do the politically correct crowd want to make your Saviour...someone on the same level as Gandhi? Well...come to THE RUMINATOR SUNDAY SCHOOL CLASS...as we begin our study on THE GOSPEL OF JOHN...RUMINATOR STYLE. "...but these have been written so that you may BELIEVE that Jesus is the Christ...the Son of God; and that believing you may have life in His name." (John 20:31) Class will be held at Smyrna Assembly 9:00 A.M. Central Standard Time in Smyrna Tennessee. For more information call Rodney Boyd at 415-7577 or write at ruminator12@comcast.net And now back to our Top Ten Reasons I Don't Need No Stinkin' Resolutions.

#4 I resolve not to mention Spam in 2010...Spam a delightful blend of spices and ham...and the official canned meat of Hawaii...and the official sponsor of The Ruminator Sunday School Class (well that last one is not true).

# 3 I resolve to change my guitar strings at least twice in 2010...or at least think about. If I think hard enough...maybe someone would get tired of hearing dead strings and change them for me.

# 2 I resolve to quit smokin', chewing/dipping tobacco, hangin' round loose women, cussin', and overeating. Well..one out of five ain't bad.
DISCLAIMER: The only one I do is overeat...so please don't write.

AND THE #1 REASON THAT I DON'T HAVE TO MAKE...OR TELL YOU ANY OF MY STINKIN' RESOLUTIONS....

#1 IT'S ALL ABOUT ME BABY...IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well...there ya have it. By the way...what's your resolution?

Love and Resolved Kisses
Rodney "Maybe I Do Need Some Stinkin' Resolutions" Boyd

DANGER....RODNEY BOYD: How To Avoid A Hot Tailpipe

Greetings Earthlings. What does the 1956 movie Forbidden Planet...Shakespeare's The Tempest...1935 pulp fiction book Doc Savage The Fantastic Island... Will Smith...the book Isaac Asimov and the 1966 T.V. show Lost in Space have in common? The answer is ROBBIE THE ROBOT.

Robbie the Robot is the prototype for all 50's movie robots. I will let you in on a secret...inside of the robot is not a myriad of wires and electronic devices. Inside the robot is a man. Yes...the robot is a costume. Robbie was first conceived in the Doc Savage book The Fantastic Island. He then appears in the movie The Forbidden Planet that was based on Shakespeare's The Tempest...and it goes on.

You may be asking yourself..."Self...why is Ruminatin' Rod writing about Robbie the Robot?" Well self...I'm glad you asked. What kicked me off to ruminatin' was the show LOST IN SPACE. Robbie the Robot...is used as a companion for Will Robinson (aka Billy Mumy of Twilight Zone fame). Whenever DANGER was close by...Robby would begin to light up...flail his arms up, down, and all around... and lights, bells, and whistles would go off...as he warned...DANGER WILL ROBINSON.

I started thinking how nice it would be as we walked in this world...to have something or someone who would alert us to DANGER. A little DANGER RODNEY BOYD would be nice... before I reached under a car and grabbed a hot tail pipe (exhaust) to see if it was loose. DANGER RODNEY BOYD...HOT PIPE...DO NOT TOUCH...DANGER. But noooooooooooo.... I had to endured (1) pain (2) embarrassment because I had no warning. If only I had some type of WARNING SYSTEM in place when I was walking down some steps at a patient's house... and when I got to the last step I would hear...DANGER RODNEY BOYD...YOU'VE GOT ONE MORE STEP TO GO..then maybe I would not have fallen face first into a concrete block wall, bust my glasses, cut my eyebrow with blood spurting everywhere, and messing up my shoulders. If only I had some type of DANGER ALERT in place when I was about to do something stupid and SIN WILLINGLY...DANGER RODNEY BOYD...YOU ARE ABOUT TO SIN...AND REAP THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTION...DANGER RODNEY BOYD.

If only the children of Israel had a ROBBIE THE ROBOT in the WILDERNESS...to warn them of the DANGER of craving evil things, being idolaters, acting immorally, testing the Lord, and grumbling...maybe...just maybe...they would not have been destroyed by serpents or destroyed by the destroyer...OR for the most important thing...not be LAID LOW IN THE WILDERNESS.

DANGER CHILDREN OF ISRAEL...YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE LAID LOW IN THE WILDERNESS.

Well...just like they had a warning system...so do I have a warning system...and it is called The Holy Spirit...The Word of God...godly counsel...and last but not least...Brenda my wife. I could have avoided a lot of trouble by listening to Brenda.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on our own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and turn away from evil." (Pro-Verbs 3:5-7) DANGER RODNEY BOYD...YOU ARE LEANING ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING...AND YOU WILL FALL. DANGER RODNEY BOYD...YOU ARE GETTING OFF THE STRAIGHT PATH.

"How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Thy Word. With all my heart I have sought Thee; do not let me wander from Thy commandments. Thy word I have hid/treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against Thee." (Psalm 119:9-11) DANGER RODNEY BOYD...YOU ARE ABOUT TO STRAY FROM THE WORD AND BECOME UNPURE. YOU ARE WANDERING FROM THE COMMANDMENTS AND ARE NOT LISTENING TO THE TREASURED WORDS AND ARE ABOUT TO SIN AGAINST GOD.

"But I say, walk by the Spirit and you will not carry out/fulfill the desires of the flesh." (Galatians 5:16) DANGER RODNEY BOYD...YOU ARE NOT WALKING BY THE SPIRIT...AND YOU ARE ABOUT TO CARRY OUT IMMORALITY, IMPURITY, SENSUALITY, IDOLATRY, SORCERY, ENMITIES, STRIFE, JEALOUSY, OUTBURSTS OF ANGER, DISPUTES, DISSENSIONS, FACTIONS, ENVYINGS, DRUNKENNESS, CAROUSINGS AND THINGS LIKE THESE...AND ARE IN DANGER OF NOT INHERITING RIGHTEOUSNESS, PEACE AND JOY IN THE HOLY GHOST (Galatians 5:16-21; Romans 14:17)

"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows...this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh shall from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit shall from the Spirit reap eternal life" (Galatians 6:7-8) DANGER RODNEY BOYD...YOU ARE MOCKING GOD AND SOWING TO FLESH...YOU ARE ABOUT TO REAP CORRUPTION.

Well you get the idea...God has His WARNING LABEL all over the place. His Holy Spirit will confirm God's truth...and your godly friends can speak into your life.

FINAL THOUGHTS...FINALLY...NO REALLY...FINALLY

Don't wait for a mechanical, electrical pile of junk to warn you...let the living Spirit of God who dwells in you speak loud and clear His Word into your life...and then...move away from the tailpipe.

Love and Dangerous Kisses
Rodney "I Hear Ya Lord" Boyd